At an undisclosed location, deep in the heart of Iowa, arose an idea that birthed the voice of a generation. It was there (as well as several other places) that Dr. Johnson sowed the seeds of invention, giving life to a misconceived notion that all balls were, indeed, created equal. There, Dr. Johnson became convinced that a better ball could be created – one into which the mojo of the doctor himself was infused.
Spending hours upon hours (yes, an uncomfortable amount of hours) in an isolated lab researching the topic of performance, he discovered that his dream of high output personal care novelties was possible. In fact, he would argue, they were essential to the existence of a non-binary humanity. And, having taken an oath to always service humanity whenever possible, he began to focus on his junk … nay … jewels.
Then crafted, as if from the hand of Zeus himself, Dr. Johnson’s jewels were put on display and began to draw public attention. Their performance was unprecedented. Their quality was incomparable. And their legacy lives on in the silent memories of every woman – and precisely 17 men - who attended the Iowa State Fair in the fall of 2017.
Could it be that Dr. Johnson had discovered the secret to providing unparalleled pleasure?
In a frenzy, women throughout southeast Iowa (or at least within 15 miles of the 52635 zip code) were throwing caution to the wind and, leaving their clothes behind, sunk into Dr. Johnson’s frothy paradise. Their stories now recounted only in the annals of Iowan folk lore, the mystery of Dr. Johnson remained urban legend for nearly eighteen and a half months, until he was fully exposed.
Now, available only through WTF Novelties, you can share in the pleasures which once began as merely a seedling in Johnson’s head, yet birthed a load of innovation. Direct from Johnson’s head to your tub, experience satisfaction as you never have before and float away in aromatic bliss.
Naysayers be damned, we fully support Johnson’s balls. And you will too!