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When his royal scepter is in need of attention, King “Richard” looks to his loyal subjects. And, clearly, since you’re holding this box, someone in your life seems to think that you’re up for the task. Take your pick from a Big Johnson or a Zaddy – or maybe Just the Tip – and soak up the warm, wet goodness that is only fit for a king.
While our humor is clearly unmatched (#humblebrag), we’d rather you love us for the quality of our balls (also unmatched). These bad boys are performers. You see, WTF Novelties isn’t just about laughs. Honest-to-goodness, everything that comes out of our lab is made with the highest quality ingredients and formulations – all under the watchful eye of Dr. Johnson himself. Infused with all-natural oils and other secret goodies, you’ll never want to sink into anything else again.
We get that question a lot, so here’s a full list of ingredients.
INGREDIENTS: Baking Soda (Sodium Bicarbonate), Epsom Salt (Magnesium Sulfate Heptahydrate), Citric Acid, Grapeseed Oil, Sunflower Oil, Apricot Kernal Oil, Lecitin, Water, Fragrance, Glycerin, Isopropyl Alcohol and Love.
MAY ALSO CONTAIN: FD&C Blue No.1 (Cl 42090), FD&C Red No.3 (Cl 45430), FD&C Yellow No.6 (Cl 15985), FD&C Red No.40 (Cl 16035), FD&C Yellow No.5 (Cl 19140), D&C Green No.5 (Cl 61570), D&C Violet No.2 (Cl 60725), FD&C Blue No.1 (Cl 42090), D&C Red No.33 (Cl 17200), Cocoa Butter, Cellulose, Acrylates Crosspolymer, Aluminum, Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate.
Well, while we’re always open to new experiences (if you’re asking), the traditional bath bomb experience is nice too.
1. Fill the bath tub completely with hot water.
2. Take off all of your clothes.
3. Grab your favorite adult beverage.
4. Drop a ball into the water and watch it do its magic. (For maximum results, avoid pulling it out.)
5. Sink down and enjoy as our balls cover you in aromatic bliss.
6. Upon exiting the tub, quickly shower off using only water.
NOTE: Feel free to reverse steps 2 and 3 if your kitchen has a lot of windows.
ALSO OF NOTE: You just looked back up at steps 2 and 3 and snickered.
ONE MORE TIME: Don’t roll your eyes at me.