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ABOUT Big Johnson
When life gets hard, we say “suck it up” and slide down into God’s gift to bath time. Often imitated, but never duplicated, this vanilla-musk devil is a grower and a shower. So, whip it out and fill ‘er up (the tub, sicko).
SCENT PROFILE: Manly vanilla musk.
COLOR PROFILE: Flesh.
BONUS: Just raw pleasure.
Available in these fine sets
By The Hour
Going Through The Big "D"
Out of the Closet
The Gift of Bukkake
OUR BALLS ARE SPECIAL
While our humor is clearly unmatched (#humblebrag), we’d rather you love us for the quality of our balls (also unmatched). These bad boys are performers. You see, WTF Novelties isn’t just about laughs. Honest-to-goodness, everything that comes out of our lab is made with the highest quality ingredients and formulations – all under the watchful eye of Dr. Peters himself. Infused with all-natural oils and other secret goodies, you’ll never want to sink into anything else again.
We get that question a lot, so here’s a full list of ingredients.
INGREDIENTS: Baking Soda (Sodium Bicarbonate), Epsom Salt (Magnesium Sulfate Heptahydrate), Citric Acid, Grapeseed Oil, Sunflower Oil, Apricot Kernal Oil, Lecitin, Water, Fragrance, Glycerin, Isopropyl Alcohol and Love.
MAY ALSO CONTAIN: FD&C Blue No.1 (Cl 42090), FD&C Red No.3 (Cl 45430), FD&C Yellow No.6 (Cl 15985), FD&C Red No.40 (Cl 16035), FD&C Yellow No.5 (Cl 19140), D&C Green No.5 (Cl 61570), D&C Violet No.2 (Cl 60725), FD&C Blue No.1 (Cl 42090), D&C Red No.33 (Cl 17200), Cocoa Butter, Cellulose, Acrylates Crosspolymer, Aluminum, Sodium Lauryl Sulfoacetate.
HOW TO USE
Well, while we’re always open to new experiences (if you’re asking), the traditional bath bomb experience is nice too.
1. Fill the bath tub completely with hot
2. Take off all of your clothes.
3. Grab your favorite adult beverage.
4. Drop a ball into the water and watch it do its magic. (For maximum results, avoid pulling it out.)
5. Sink down and enjoy as our balls cover you in aromatic bliss.
6. Upon exiting the tub, quickly shower off using only water.
NOTE: Feel free to reverse steps 2 and 3 if your kitchen has a lot of windows.
ALSO OF NOTE: You just looked back up at steps 2 and 3 and snickered.
ONE MORE TIME: Don’t roll your eyes at me.